Battletop Bonanza

gemelli:space_invader:7:42 PM
We are nearing the end of Round 1 of the Danielson Fisher Battle Tops tournament.

gemelli:space_invader:7:53 PM
Seeding from the round robin goes: William, Jason, Dad, Josie, Mom

7:54The young man, “Chilly Willy,” is making his tops debut this season, and although he entered as a complete unknown, the country certainly knows his name now.

7:56The other big surprise of Round One is that Gudrun “Clothed Aggression” Danielson scored just a single point all round, in spite of her bold entering proclamation, “all y’all are some battle top pussies.” (edited) :crying_cat_face:1:smile:1

Thok7:58 PM

:popcorn:

gemelli:space_invader:7:58 PM
Jason “Jase Windu” Fisher was a surprise addition to the match, after foregoing the grueling training season altogether to focus on a secondary hobby, Sitting In a Chair In the Back Yard:joy:

17:59His second place showing is far better than expected, leaving the competitors scratching their heads and wondering just where this young man’s skill ceiling really lies.

8:00Josie “Father, No” Fisher was of course a late replacement entrant, after discovering that her cat, Otis, had been disqualified due to a lack of thumbs.

8:00Asked for a comment on her fourth place showing, she replied with a rude gesture and a withering look.

LadyDoughnutPants8:02 PM

:joy:

gemelli:space_invader:8:02 PM
And of course, Father Time himself has announced that this is likely his final professional tour, recognizing that the injuries he suffered in last year’s Monaco Cup have taken a toll and made him a shadow of the competitor we all remember.

8:05The athletes have gathered with their pit crews, reviewing strategy and fine tuning the mechanics of that vital initial pull as we wait for the elimination bracket.

8:06But as fans of the sport know well, no matter the plan, when the game is on, literally anything can happen.

8:07We’ll be back after a word from our sponsor, Nervous Bird.

gemelli:space_invader:8:12 PM
nervous bird(2 MB)https://media1.giphy.com/media/gw3IWk4bUd5SnE8E/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955eba5610027af2d4711cf5ee839a3beb81e6d1f383&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by Cheezburger

gdyetrauda8:15 PM
I would hear more of this, thank you

gemelli:space_invader:8:27 PM
And we’re back, as the athletes begin their warm-ups and the coaches offer their final advice and guidance.

Nytmare8:28 PM
waves his Chilly Willy banner.

gemelli:space_invader:8:28 PM
In the elimination round, each head to head match will be settled as a best of 5, following standard league rules on faults and false starts.

Nytmare8:28 PM
Chilly Willy(1 MB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/cmospGjkZDPi0/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e6574cf1a6170c6dfcc738c72279410b51d242d9f&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy

gemelli:space_invader:8:29 PM
Our first match will be Josie facing off against Gudrun as the wild card entry into the semifinals round.

8:29Pre game interviews:

8:29Josie: “… Go away”

8:30Gudrun: “I need more money.”

8:30Josie picks black, and Gudrun goes orange

8:30And it’s Gudrun drawing first blood off a Waxman hop!

crovax1234:bus:8:31 PM
I’m not sure if I’m hoping more that that’s a term you just came up with or if it’s a legitimate term.

gemelli:space_invader:8:32 PM
Pull two, right out of the gate, Gudrun delivers a stunning blow and sends Josie reeling! The trainers have lodged a protest but the judges let it stand, 2-0 Gudrun.

8:32Third pull, Josie clearly has something to prove as Gudrun goes down with just one second on the clock. 2-1 Gudrun.

8:33And then Josie scored a drawn out Maximilian Reversal and ties it up!

8:34But Gudrun has clearly gotten inside Josie’s head, and she takes the match!

gdyetrauda8:35 PM
I have no clue how much of this is fiction and how much is reality, so I am going all in on 100% reality

gemelli:space_invader:8:35 PM
Next up is Gudrun facing off against Chilly Willy, with both opting to forego the pre game interviews.

8:35The tension is palpable.

crovax1234:bus:8:35 PM
I don’t know. They should both be fined for that.

gdyetrauda8:35 PM
TEAM GUDRUN

gemelli:space_invader:8:36 PM
And my goodness, Gudrun has struck first, with the newcomer sent reeling!8:36My goodness, welcome to the big leagues!

gdyetrauda8:37 PM
TIL Gemelli’s signature sportscaster phrase is MY GOODNESS:face_with_symbols_on_mouth:1

8:37It’s like BAH GAW but better

gemelli:space_invader:8:37 PM
Pull two, and we can see right away that this is going to be a scrappy affair, tops chipping and hopping all over the place.

8:38And it’s Gudrun again! William has narrowed his eyes but frankly he just seems to be at sea here.

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:38 PM
Seems like she was just getting them to let their guard down in round 1.

gdyetrauda8:38 PM
TAKE THAT, NYT

gemelli:space_invader:8:38 PM
Pull three, and ladies and gentlemen, this is just shocking!

crovax1234:bus:8:38 PM
As long as he doesn’t start yelling about things being seaward we’re fine

gdyetrauda8:38 PM
genuinely I am riveted

Nytmare8:38 PM
:7

gemelli:space_invader:8:39 PM
William goes to the top rope and attempts the controversial Arab Spring!:scream:2

crovax1234:bus:8:39 PM
I’m so, so, so god damned mad that you’re not streaming this or doing a google hangouts:+1:38:39So we can heckle or cheer.

gemelli:space_invader:8:39 PM
BUT NO, SHE HAS COUNTERED WITH THE RARELY SEEN FLICK FLACK:arrows_counterclockwise:1

crovax1234:bus:8:39 PM
I WANT YOU TO BE NARRATING THIS ALOUD.

gemelli:space_invader:8:39 PM
AND IT’S OVER, GUDRUN IN A STUNNING UPSET:crossed_flags:1

gdyetrauda8:39 PM
TEAM GUDRUN’S MOTTO IS TAKE NO PRISONERS

8:40ovation(591 kB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/HjheuybfwDGnu/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e491bd9a3af7a737afcf07a7237b557fd5965384b&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy

Nytmare8:40 PM
flick flack(2 MB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/hSBbSVosPMYKY/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955e7c9bf6608f1b37a9fe1e2cd46c1dc11df88ef6d4&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy

gemelli:space_invader:8:41 PM
We’ll be back with post game interviews, but this is already a match for the ages, ladies and gentlemen.

Nytmare8:41 PM
tosses his Chilly Willy banner.

gdyetrauda8:42 PM
puts together her Team Gudrun scrapbook

Nytmare8:42 PM
auctions of his jersey on eBay:money_with_wings:1

gemelli:space_invader:8:42 PM
In our second semifinals, it will be Jason and Father Time facing off, and it looks like Father Time is… yes, he is absolutely playing with no glasses!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:42 PM
blind(2 MB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/SJbsM0KbTrr3y/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e34367bc51a83970bb21a757b634944aa52ed4f50&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy2 repliesLast reply 19 hours agoView thread

gemelli:space_invader:8:43 PM
A bold move, but will it be enough?

gdyetrauda8:43 PM
suspects Father Time is sandbagging

crovax1234:bus:8:43 PM
bee costume cat(295 kB)https://media0.giphy.com/media/dXJya1T8rI8Cs/giphy.gif?cid=6104955eb5436fd4947999d4b3ffce3d04e198f27670fdc2&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy

8:43I’ve been trying to find this gif for five minutes.

8:43One of the other things that showed up for “Bee costume cat” was this

crovax1234:bus:8:43 PM
https://giphy.com/gifs/kiss-couple-kissing-w3BjVXdBxhjW0Giphy(825 kB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/w3BjVXdBxhjW0/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e05dca9dc0c1de27af6d5572e09ab8cf3447722ea&rid=giphy.gif:open_mouth:2

gdyetrauda8:43 PM
THE AD BREAKS ARE GETTING WEIRD

gemelli:space_invader:8:44 PM
Well, early indications are no, as pull one ends with a one hop strike that sends Father completely out of the room.

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:44 PM
:lightsaber:

gemelli:space_invader:8:45 PM
Pull two starts off with both competitors circling the arena, a little tentative, checking each other’s defenses.

gdyetrauda8:46 PM
Team Time

gemelli:space_invader:8:46 PM
Father jumps in with a risky uppercut, but no, he gets slammed to the pavement and it’s 2-0 Jason.:boom:1

8:47My word, what a sad day, to see this mighty champion reduced to this. Heart breaking for long time fans of the league, and we all wonder if maybe the early retirement would have been best, leaving on his own terms.:older_man:2

8:47But wait, pull three, and OH MY GOODNESS:clock1030:1

8:48The Spanish Fly, ladies and gentlemen! Jason is down and he is just not moving at all!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:48 PM
OMG wrestling(2 MB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/9JpTHG8ZqKjHzxCO1u/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955e70f6f0e1059da8a72e065437c6727fae64d9819c&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by WWE

gemelli:space_invader:8:49 PM
It’s been at least twelve years since we saw that maneuver in league play and the crowd just can’t believe it!

crovax1234:bus:8:49 PM
BY GOD AS MY WITNESS HE IS BROKEN IN HALF

Suikoman4448:49 PM
Spanish fly is impressive

gemelli:space_invader:8:49 PM
We’re going to pull four but the crowd is still roaring as the replays continue, and it is fair to say that IT’S NOT OVER

8:50OH MY WORD, FATHER TIME HAS LEAPT COMPLETELY OVER JASON AND STRUCK HIM DOWN:clock11:1:clock230:1:clock9:1:clock630:1

8:51It’s as if the clock has been rolled back, and we’re seeing him return to that scrappy, devastating form from his first run!

8:51And on to the match point at pull five!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:51 PM

:crossed_flags:

Nytmare8:51 PM
top rope(1 MB)https://media0.giphy.com/media/3owvK2OcUAIKViiBuU/giphy.gif?cid=6104955eeda6196aec6a7959259c777052e78cfcaa8ce237&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by WWE

gemelli:space_invader:8:51 PM
… OH MY LORD, HE’S PULLED A MUSCLE AND HE IS DOWN

gdyetrauda8:51 PM
holds her breath

gemelli:space_invader:8:52 PM
FATHER TIME IS DOWN AND WHAT’S THIS, JASON IS HELPING HIM TO HIS FEET

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:52 PM
soccer injury(348 kB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/glL0cGU5wYu4g/giphy.gif?cid=6104955ecc66f28ad09c741130991a9e5009283fd83f85c1&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by gifnews

gemelli:space_invader:8:52 PM
WHAT A DISPLAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JASON TAKES THE MATCH BUT WHAT A FINISH TO THE OLD MAN’S CAREER:tada:2

8:53We need a moment to recover before the finals, which will feature Jason against the Cinderella story that is Team Gudrun!

8:53Let’s take one more message from Nervous Bird.

8:54nervous bird(2 MB)https://media1.giphy.com/media/1XhtZgJyb0AlM5rbVN/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955ea1b8c950ce40623eb20b55708f806e71ecff69c8&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by Hyper RPG:open_mouth:1

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:55 PM
weirdest commercial(535 kB)https://media1.giphy.com/media/pQ0rk8NWRYXni/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e1c405e4767bebdfc46c15609eca1b0de5ce493b4&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy:open_mouth:11 reply18 hours agoView thread

gemelli:space_invader:8:56 PM
As our finalists approach the arena, the higher seeded Jason gets first choice of tops, and selects the controversial blue, and Gudrun can scarcely believe her luck that Jason has left her the orange top that’s been her trademark this entire tourney.

8:56They shake hands, and offer final comments to the camera.

8:57Jason: “We are going to… to… top top the tops.”:clap:1

8:57Cryptic and a little unsettling.

8:57Gudrun: “Seriously, I will sponsor anyone, I have no scruples”:moneybag:1

8:58She is dialed in and ready!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:8:58 PM
clothed aggression(334 kB)https://media0.giphy.com/media/26xBR9I08Drio7jLa/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e0f79f8e7bbd8b32059bb5ddabb7ad0779949ee8f&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by ola szmida

gemelli:space_invader:8:58 PM
Pull one, and ohh, ladies and gentlemen, what a disappointing start for Team Jason as he barely manages two spins before coughing to a halt.

9:00The trainers are asking for a restart on technical grounds, but the replay shows that both tops completed one revolution and touched the arena surface, so it’s 1-0 Gudrun right off the blocks.

9:00Pull two is up, and right away Jason strikes a mighty blow! Gudrun is reeling while Jason moves in.

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:01 PM
aggretsuko(2 MB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/pyvcdVophHk32gdleD/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955e3fd087fea4f2c1fa6327a311467420ee2419fe85&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by NETFLIX

gemelli:space_invader:9:01 PM
But OH NO, it was a ploy and ohh, what he thought was a death blow was merely a setup to a beautiful Serbian Counter Hop!:crossed_flags:1

9:022-0 Gudrun, and oh dear, she is actually taunting the young man from Wisconsin.

9:02“You’re going to lose,” she says.”And I am going to take your snacks.”

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:03 PM
https://youtu.be/EGyfdtW5zn0YouTube | Yusi-D-JordanGrievous with too many lightsabers [Extended Version]

gemelli:space_invader:9:03 PM
The crowd does NOT like that, and we’re all remembering the sportsmanship Jason showed earlier. The boos rain down, and Gudrun actually waves them on, relishing her turn as the villain of this story.

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:04 PM
(I suspect Gemelli just made up the nicknames but I’m all in on them)

Nytmare9:04 PM
Gudrun is going to be brought down by the eventual doping scandal.

crovax1234:bus:9:04 PM
Naw, Father Time seems to be the dope

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:04 PM
Haters will say it’s fake!

gemelli:space_invader:9:04 PM
And we’re on to Pull 3, Jason coming in with a bit of fire in his eyes, ladies and gentlemen.

9:05Gudrun strikes first, and Jason reels into the NO, WHAT’S THIS, HE REVERSES COURSE AND HAS KNOCKED GUDRUN COMPLETELY OUT OF THE RING:scream:1

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:05 PM
HIS GOODNESS

gemelli:space_invader:9:05 PM
IT’S 2-1 GUDRUN, BUT WE HAVE A GAME ON OUR HANDS, TOP FANS

Nytmare9:06 PM
Never come between Jason and his snacks. She should have known better.

gemelli:space_invader:9:06 PM
The trainers are asking Jason if he wants to switch to his signature black top, but no, he is staying with blue, a top that he had barely touched at all before the playoff season started.

9:07Gudrun stays with orange, no surprises there, and it’s pull four.

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:07 PM
I just want to clarify that we’ve all been watching this unfold for now than an hour.

9:08Father Time, indeed!

gemelli:space_invader:9:08 PM
The two tops circle each other, each waiting to draw out a mistake from the opponent, but with the stakes this high there is little chance of that.:crossed_swords:1

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:08 PM
To further clarify: it’s been an hour very well spent.

Pithlit:impish_angel:9:08 PM
Best hour of my day to be sure.

gemelli:space_invader:9:08 PM
One hit from Gudrun, another hit from Jason, and back to circling and waiting.

Nytmare9:09 PM
beyblade(1 MB)https://media0.giphy.com/media/TVU60CUSxqDZu/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955e5170167c10268c32101cc788c24b6e1a3e6f682a&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy:smile:1

gemelli:space_invader:9:09 PM
Gudrun’s beginning to wobble, and Jason jumps in, but oh no, she uses the impact to right herself and now it’s Jason on the ropes!

9:09COULD THIS BE IT, FOLKS???

Pithlit:impish_angel:9:09 PM

:scream:

:scream:1

gemelli:space_invader:9:09 PM
… I DON’T BELIEVE IT, I DON’T BELIEVE IT

9:10JASON HAS KNOCKED GUDRUN SPRAWLING

9:10BOTH ARE SPINNING ON THE FLOOR OF THE ARENA AND, AND

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:10 PM
OMG wrestling(921 kB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/82XDa5wcmYn6oiTT5G/giphy.gif?cid=6104955ef28b1bad58a74cea7d366094cd8a6028a16130d8&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by WWE

gemelli:space_invader:9:10 PM
JASON TAKES IT BY A NOSE

9:112-2 AND IT IS MATCH POINT FOR THE TOURNAMENT

Pithlit:impish_angel:9:11 PM
the crowd goes wild(1 MB)https://media1.giphy.com/media/XI1IrwOzsXVdycDaWO/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955ec11422a4060f15df2b34e7b8c32dd759f424f1ca&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy | GIF by MLB

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:11 PM
Probably gonna be another sponsor break.

gemelli:space_invader:9:11 PM
It’s blue and orange for all the marbles, and could we have scripted a better finish??Custom response

Slackbot9:11 PM
I don’t give a shit.

gemelli:space_invader:9:12 PM
Pull five, here we go!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:12 PM
Boo, get outta here, Slacky!

Nytmare9:12 PM
beyblade(993 kB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/12UOLiPvfv9wXK/giphy-downsized.gif?cid=6104955eab1747c7d8bca188b264eb42c93cd15513df41d5&rid=giphy-downsized.gifPosted using /giphy:hatched_chick:1

gemelli:space_invader:9:12 PM
It’s aggression from Gudrun right out of the gate! Oh my goodness, Jason’s top has landed on the outer ring of the arena!

9:13There’s no way he can come back from this!

9:13Gudrun begins her victory lap as Jason teeters on the edge of disaster!

9:13BUT WAIT

9:14HE HAS SPUN BACK INTO PLAY. I DON’T BELIEVE IT

GUDRUN IS DOWN

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:14 PM
undertaker(2 MB)https://media2.giphy.com/media/d9O4Lumgzag6iiDuGb/giphy.gif?cid=6104955ed450557c8306247c11a2cf38dd25f736f635f20e&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy |

gemelli:space_invader:9:14 PM
THE CROWD IS DEAFENING

9:14LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JASON IS OUR LEAGUE CHAMPION:tada:1:clap:1:crossed_flags:1

Pithlit:impish_angel:9:14 PM
amazing(597 kB)https://media3.giphy.com/media/l46CkATpdyLwLI7vi/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e97326955447f37a0a35416b31a00880110f660a4&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphy

gemelli:space_invader:9:15 PM
WHAT A FINISH

9:15UNFORGETTABLE AND LEGENDARY

9:15THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING US, I AM GEMELLI FOR NERVOUS BIRD, AND GOOD NIGHT:+1:3

9:16(So. All of that actually happened)

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:16 PM
Golden voice! Golden voice!

gemelli:space_invader:9:16 PM
Gudrun: “good game, but that was some bullshit.”:smile:1

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:16 PM
You gotta @ the channel when these things are happening. I’m just lucky I tuned in!

gemelli:space_invader:9:17 PM
Image from iOS 9:18I didn’t plan the commentary, it just sort of happened!

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:18 PM
It was amazing! Well done.

9:19Gonna show the blow-by-blow to the competitors?

gemelli:space_invader:9:20 PM
Yep!

crovax1234:bus:9:20 PM
Who is most likely to punch you?

gemelli:space_invader:9:21 PM
The finishing order determined the selection of snacks from the prize pool.

9:21The pool also included a coupon to get out of kitchen chores for an evening.:+1:2

crovax1234:bus:9:22 PM
How edible is that?

Pithlit:impish_angel:9:22 PM
Anything’s edible if you’re brave enough. (edited) 

Thok

9:23 PM
I was wondering why you’d seed a round robin, but that chart looks like a single elimination tournament instead.

9:23PAIGE NO (edited) 

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:24 PM
cactus(508 kB)https://media1.giphy.com/media/P6Pt8lZw7BiQo/giphy.gif?cid=6104955e8438d089988aab708a3a2307da64522619597f3b&rid=giphy.gifPosted using /giphyCustom response

Slackbot9:24 PM
I’ve got sacral bidet trainings to do.

crovax1234:bus:9:25 PM
what are these auto responses

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:29 PM
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9:29The one earlier is tied to ?? and seems to be a magic 8-ball format.Custom response

Slackbot9:29 PM
My reply is no.

gdyetrauda9:30 PM
Damn, my mom called earlier and I missed all the excitement at the end!2 repliesLast reply 18 hours agoView thread

gemelli:space_invader:9:30 PM
Yeah, the round robin was just “everyone plays everyone” to seed for the single elimination.

DanBob:peach-o:9:31 PM
The other is a nod to Steve Martin’s “Grandmother Song.” I believe it triggers off of obsequious, purple, clairvoyant, pompous, obese, and cactus.:+1:1Custom response

Slackbot9:31 PM
:crown: ALL :crown: HAIL :crown: KING :crown: TORG :crown:

Baron Mind:hear_no_evil:9:33 PM
replied to a thread:Damn, my mom called earlier and I missed all the excitement at the end!Priorities! You can talk to your mom any time!View newer replies

shoptroll10:14 PM
So is this the Gemelli household version of Marbula One?

arsh11:28 PM
I cannot BELIEVE I MISSED THIS WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING (edited) 11:28https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqfz7f2-cAUYouTube | Ludography.netGeekway to the West 2015 Battling Tops finalToday


gemelli:space_invader:12:24 AM
We mentioned that exact event in the lead up!

12:25I will never forget the look on Will’s face as he walked into the room just as a large shouting man with a luchador mask tore his own shirt from his hairy torso.

12:25And he turned to me and said “I did not expect that.”:smile:3

LadyDoughnutPants12:27 AM

:joy:
Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Battletop Bonanza

On Being Young

First, a story from back in the day, back in Genesis. Like most of Genesis, you have to take it with a grain of salt. A literal interpretation will make your brain start to hurt. So, let’s just take it for what it is: a story about the diversity of language:

Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.

They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

Okay. Kinda interesting. Get a bunch of people together, see them have An Idea. See them Work on The Idea. See Progress.

As we grow up and we start to try to differentiate ourselves from our parents, we start to have Ideas. Our parents, being much older and wiser, look at these ideas and think “that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of”.
Tide Pods
But before that, there were Challenges.
The Cinnamon Challenge. cinnamon challenge
The Ice Bucket Challenge (which actually supported a cause).
BUT BEFORE THEN…
Maybe parents look at these ideas and think they’re stupid because they had their own Ideas.
Swallowing Goldfish
How many people can fit into something that no longer exists?

and so on.

We live in a media-saturated world where such things as YouTube celebrities and Professional Video Game Streamers exist. So our Ideas reach audiences much, much earlier these days. And much like the phone booths, they too will fade to be replaced by something else, because we all grow up.

In many ways, the story of the Tower of Babel is the story of a transition from teenage indestructibility into mortality.

But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

We can ask why God chose to stop this Idea. In that sense, trying to understand God’s intentions is impossible. The answer is always “BECAUSE”. Kind of like a parent.

This is why I don’t worry too much about my kids, and neither should you, especially when it comes to any alarmist trend breathlessly reported by the internet.

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aws ecr get-login free for all

I do tech stuff, and here’s a headache for you:
you have a node that’s running docker version 17.09-ce. You have a jenkins process that will .ssh to this node, then do some fun stuff like connect to aws to grab images.

First try after setting up credentials and all that: aws ecr get-login . Spits a bunch of stuff out, but when you try to run the resulting command, it bails on the -e email parameter, because that’s deprecated.
So you follow the advice and use the –no-include-email parameter.
And that should work.
But your jenkins job fails. And keeps failing. It hates that –no-include-email parameter.
Turns out you have to install awscli twice on the local node.
You have to pip install –upgrade awscli , then
sudo -H pip install –upgrade awscli

Why? Who knows? It just doesn’t work otherwise.

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Well, that seems to work

I’m testing some little things that may be of use next week.

Or not.

We’ll find out.

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Liveblog test

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Returning to Posting

It’s been roughly over a year since I last posted. A lot has happened since then. I don’t really feel like going into the reasons why, but suffice to say that everything is as usual okay. Not great, not spectacular, but also not lousy.

I am considering transitioning this site to become a longer-term project, but for now, it is what it is.

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The Lack of Gray

I haven’t written in a while, mostly because I just haven’t felt like writing much lately. There’s been a lot of stuff happening, and sometimes it’s hard just to keep everything from overwhelming me.

However, there are two separate issues that have at their heart a much larger issue. They are the Declassified CIA Report detailing what was done to keep America safe, and the actions or lack thereof of grand juries across this nation, doing what they did to keep America safe.

I have nothing new to say on Ferguson and the other cases. There’s so much information and so many opinions out there that anything I offer would be a rehashing of other views, so as for the stories themselves, I’m going to remain in the background. The one part of the story that I want to bring up is the way in which we in America seem to have lost the ability to have a middle ground where two things can be true and yet seemingly contradictory. In the Garner case and other instances of police brutality, the arguments have become siloed into two distinct camps: “the police are bad”, and “the police are doing their job”. I blame the media for pushing this narrative without allowing the middle ground of “there are good police officers, and there are ones who shouldn’t be near weapons of any sort.” In the case of the CIA report, again we have two sides: “It was torture” and “It kept the country safe”. Again, there’s no room for the ugly truth that maybe some of the torture worked. The problem is that we on the outside do not know and can’t independently judge the information. What we get is filtered through one side that’s seen to have a bias, so it becomes untrustworthy and without merit in the eyes of many. Again, the media is quick to pick up on this and create a controversy and endless amounts of shouting the same things at each other in an effort to convince the other person that we have a viewpoint too.

In both issues, I think people acted in moments of irrational haste and fear. You don’t bridge a gap by making it wider.

Shouldn’t America and the people who do the dangerous work be held to much higher standards? If we wish to claim any sort of authority in this world and call ourselves the greatest nation, then why do we not have better standards than those who we perceive to be our enemy? If we’re not going to have a middle ground, why not err on the side of dignity?

Without dignity, we are individually and collectively severed from any sense of morality and justice. This falls way short of creating a “more perfect union,” doesn’t it?

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Can Corporations be “Religious”?

Let’s talk about Hobby Lobby.

Currently, HL is suing the federal government because they feel that the inclusion of emergency contraceptives as part of mandated by PPACA goes against their religious beliefs.

There has been some frothing at the mouth about HL on the internet, and some of it is with good reason. The owners of the company are deeply religious people who have gone as far as producing a classroom curriculum for the Bible for public schools. Frankly, I go to church to learn about the Bible, and I did a critical reading of the book of Job in college. I have my own beliefs about the Bible, and while I believe it is a transformative book that can provide a firm moral basis for actions, I feel that placing it in public schools only elevates divisions and derision about faith and religion in this country. The true test of whether something like this course should be accepted is to ask as if it were coming from another religion or even an agnostic/atheistic viewpoint. Would the same people be okay if there were a class about the Qu’ran in Mustang’s schools?

We say that America is a Christian nation, but that’s not at all accurate. We’re an inclusive nation that tries to accommodate a wide range of beliefs under the concept of tolerance and not having the state or its actors (such as schools) promote one religion over any other. Frankly, how could you choose? Sectarianism is rife in almost every religion, and usually the breakaways have to do with different views of God. So if we have so many different views, how can they condense them into one course?

The answer, of course, is that they don’t. The curriculum follows a very conservative interpretation of the Bible, and I just don’t agree with that approach.

But that’s just me.

A lot of people commenting on HL point out that “well, if they call themselves Christian, then why do they do X” where X is “have goods made in China”, or “have pension funds that invest in companies that sell abortion equipment” or whatever. It’s extending the idea of hypocrisy and taking it from a personal level to a corporate level.

I don’t believe corporations have the same rights and freedoms as individuals. You cannot convince me that corporations care about anything else but profits (at least those with public investors), simply because all companies want to survive and thrive. Human beings have selfless motives, and while some companies pay lip service to this in vague forms of “community engagement”, the sad truth is that for corporations, giving to charity is another means to write off taxes.

People, especially Christians, are hypocrites. I know I am about several issues in my life, and it is that which I hope keeps me humble about my faith. As far as corporations can have values, they too can be hypocrites. The big difference lies in who can forgive that hypocrisy. Nothing is perfect on this earth–no person or company or organization or church or anything.

So on the issue of corporate hypocrisy, I’m going to cut HL some slack.

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A typical day

And so the machine has to reside in the DMZ to have outside people access it…
But you can’t use an insecure port, because people are picky about that…
Then you have to try and collate years of results into meaningful data…
VMWare? Why hast thou forsaken me?
Huh. So that’s what a Gomertz equation is…
“STOP BARKING AT THE SQUIRREL YOU STUPID DOG.”
Need iced tea. Probably need something stronger, but I have limits…
There was a stick of butter on the counter…
Why is the Virtual Machine not even showing up like the other one? I mean, they’re in the same place, doing the same thing, but THIS thingawhatzit doesn’t match THAT thingawhatzit and google has failed me….
Did the dog eat the butter?
How do you turn data into something of value?
I don’t see a wrapper…
Got the tea. Do we have cookies? No? Grumble.
There’s Halloween candy.
And I’ve tried setting things from DHCP to manual routing, and nothing seems to work. I can’t even update packages, although ostensibly the machine says it’s connected…
That package from where? Oh, yes. I’ll be here tonight.
Dinner is… fajitas. We’re low on tortillas. We’ll have to make do and leave 1 for Jacob in the morning.
Must get more.
And probably more butter.
And dog food.
Preferably stuff that tastes like butter.
To the dog.
I’m not trying it.
I’ve been working on this for pretty much all of two days, and I’ve made glacial progress. Glacial as in pre-anthrogenic global warming glacial.
Cookie dough is in tomorrow. Oh frabjous joy.
Did the doorbell ring?
No.
Maybe it was the dog plus butter.
But will past work actually indicate some sort of change, especially since there are always new twists to every project? Do I need to put some sort of derivative meta-measure in to allow for future “progress”?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE OTHER ONE WAS A 32-BIT IMAGE. THERE IS NO 32-BIT IM… oh. There is.
So putting a 64-bit image of a VM doesn’t work.
I should write that down.
Stupid dog.

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trim.VEaPPw

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