Feeling very sleepy…

Some of you may know that I have sleep apnea. It’s a relatively mild case, but I do snore pretty badly. I did a sleep study in 2006, and now I have a CPAP machine. CPAP stands for Continuous Positive Air Pressure, and that’s what the device essentially forces on you.

People have two or three options with apnea: You can get some sort of medical procedure done to reduce snoring, you can wear a mouthpiece, or you can have a continual flow of air pushed into your nose while you sleep. This third method is the CPAP way.

It’s not particularly fun. Every night, I have to fill up the water reservoir with distilled water. This is usually done late at night after putting the kids to sleep, so it typically involves pouring water over electricity in the dark. Yes, I’ve missed the tank a few times. No, I’m not dead yet. Yes, there is a better way to do this (such as fill it up when I’m alert).

The other headache is the mask choice. Users have two main options: something that covers the nose (and other parts of the head) or something that is obsequiously described as a “nasal prong system“.

As with anything, these masks wear out over time; parts break off, the straps start to smell like cheese mold, etc. Typically, insurance will allow a user to purchase a new mask and connection tube (which delivers humidified, heated air from the reservoir to the mask and thusly to your nose) every six months.

My mask broke last week. The plastic connectors holding the forehead portion clamped down broke at their weakest point, and so I began the search for a new mask. I started by returning to the place from whence the machine (and previous mask) came: Axis Medical Supply.

Me: “I need to get a new mask for my CPAP machine.” (note: I’m standing right in front of the endcap where they keep the CPAP supplies.)
Salesguy Whom I’ve Never Seen Before: “Uh, let me get Randy. He’s specializes in (mutter mutter as he walks away)…”
Me: (waits patiently, staring at the electric wheelchairs, thinking that the employees probably have drag races with them after working hours)
Randy Whom I’ve Never Seen Before: “Hi. You’re looking for a CPAP mask?”
Me: “Yes”
RWINSB: “Do you have a prescription?”
Me: “What?”
RWINSB: “Yeah, you have to have a prescription in order to get a mask.”
Me: “I didn’t last time.”
RWINSB: “Yeah, well, that’s the way the insurance companies track how you get one every six months.”
Me: “Okay. Oh, by the way, my insurance has changed.”
RWINSB: “Oh, who are you with?”
Me: “Blue Cross Blue Shield Blueberry Pie”
RWINSB: “Oh. We’re out of their network.”
Me: (realizing that I’ve gained one bit of knowledge in the past ten minutes). “Sigh. Okay. Thanks.”

Step the Second: Getting the prescription
This was actually somewhat easy. I called my doctor’s office and left a message for my doctor to get a prescription. She did, although due to scheduling snafus I wasn’t able to pick it up until yesterday.

Step the Third: Locating a Medical Supply Company
BCBSTX doesn’t make it easy for a person to know which particular plan they have. It’s not on your ID card, it’s not on the “personalized” website, etc. So I had to call to find out where the locations are. Then, I had to locate one close by. After a false start (the Healthtronix place apparently specializes in Lymphedema and nothing else), I went to Rhema Medical Supply, a place with a rain-faded sign located at the very back of a former technology complex in Richardson.

Me: (enters store and sits down as requested by the numerous laser-printed signs. Admires Christmas decorations halfway in boxes. Waits five minutes.)
Woman Whose Name I Didn’t Get: “Can I help you?”
Me: “Yes. I need a CPAP mask.”
WWNIDG: “Just a mask?”
Me: “Yes.”
WWNIDG: “Have you had a sleep study done?”
Me: “Yes. In 2006.” (At this point, the snappy answer would have been “No, I just need the mask to huff paint.”)
WWNIDG: “How’d you find us?”
Me: (explains about insurance)
WWNIDG: “Oh, you’d be eligible for all new equipment with a new insurance plan.”
Me: “I don’t need a new machine. I just need a mask.”
WWNDIG: “Hmm. Let me ask my manager because (mutter mutter as she walks away)…”
Me: (Stares at the Coke machine and the candy vending machine obviously purchased by the store owner in a futile effort to make extra bucks off of the people who crave carbs badly enough to wander into this store and get them. Waits 3 minutes.)
Manager Whose Name I Didn’t Get: “Hi. I’m afraid I can’t give you a mask until we get a copy of your sleep study.”
Me: “What?”
MWNIDG: “Yeah, Blue Cross goes by the Medicare guidelines, and they need the study before we can give you a mask.”
Me: “I have a prescription.”
MWNIDG: “Yes. I see that. But Blue Cross goes by the Medicare guidelines, and they need the study before we can give you a mask.”
Me: (crestfalls face)
MWNIDG: “I’m sorry. That’s just the rules we have to go by.”
So, now I’m on Step Four: admitting I’m powerless in the face of a large insurance conglomerate. And trying to get my sleep study info from the Sleep Lab at Richardson Regional Hospital.

I could get a prescription for Class A Narcotics filled quicker than this is taking. I could arguably buy a handgun in less time. This. Is. Ridiculous.